A Second Chance
by Relatable Alien
Summary: AU: Set just after "All Good Things..." - Picard has something he's been meaning to tell Beverly for months. Has he finally gathered the courage to say it? (precursor to "A New Flame Ignited" and "A Lot To Smile About")


Picard paced around his quarters, unable to sit still. The poker game had gone well. He'd have to practice with them more, get to know their poker faces properly. He hadn't realised how little he actually knew about his bridge crew, properly _knew_.

"I can't stand this anymore!" he breathed in exclamation, striding straight out the doors of his quarters to the holodeck. His body was on autopilot as his mind was deep in thought. _I have to tell her. I can't wait any longer. The future, that future, I want some of that. _He walked straight past Counselor Troi, not noticing her. Sensing his thoughts, she smiled to herself and went on her way. _We were divorced, I know that much. But _why_? I'd never divorce her, so I must have done something wrong... What? Here already? _The door to Dr Beverly Crusher's quarters stood before him. He wiped his palms on his sides, only realising then that they were sweating. A lump had somehow managed to find its way to his throat. _No. You have to do this Jean-Luc, _he told himself stubbornly. _At least give it a go. Maybe she'll feel differently after hearing what I have to say? _The hope sparked in him. It was all the cue his hand needed to reach over and press the button.

"Come in," Dr Crusher's voice called. She was just about to change into her nightie. Picard entered, finding her about to remove her right boot. "Jean-Luc!" she smiled, standing.

"Do you have a minute, Beverly?" the words ran from his tongue before he could think further.

"Of course, come in, take a seat," she gestured at the spot on the sofa beside her. Picard glanced down at his feet. He was still standing in the doorway. _Here goes nothing_. He stepped inside, the door closing behind him. The hiss sounded louder than usual, as though his senses had become hyper-aware of the surroundings. He glanced around awkwardly for a moment. _I've never seen her quarters before..._ They weren't what he expected. He didn't know what he expected. More pictures of Jack? "What's on your mind?" Dr Crusher asked as Picard sat down on the sofa, leaving a little space between them. It was a struggle to make eye contact with her.

"Beverly... I want to tell you something..." he started. _Dammit, why didn't I think about this more?! _He scolded himself. Usually he always knew what to say, but right when he was saying the most important words he could ever speak, his brain decided to freeze up.

"Yes, Jean-Luc?" she said when he was silent for a moment too long. He huffed in aggravation. _Has speaking to her always been this difficult? _Dr Crusher reached over and put a hand on his. He was wringing his hands nervously. At her touch, they stilled. "It's alright. Take your time." His confidence rose, supported by the compassion in her voice.

"Beverly, on Kesprytt, that night by the campfire," he started, then paused. She nodded slightly, willing him to go on. "I explained I felt guilty before Jack's death."

"I remember, then you said you didn't have those feelings for me anymore," Dr Crusher nodded.

"That isn't what I meant," he said and closed his eyes. He was silent a moment too long for Dr Crusher's comfort.

"What did you mean?" she asked quietly, her voice soft. His eyes snapped open, finding her bright blue ones looking deeply into them. _We weren't sitting this close_... his brain mused.

"I meant I don't feel guilty anymore," he said, his eyes holding hers, unblinking. She blinked first, slowly, sitting back in the chair, releasing his hands. Fingertips pressed together, she placed them just over her lips, her eyes, shining brightly. "I love you Beverly." She closed her eyes for a minute, a smile spreading across her face. A tear ran down her cheek as she opened her eyes. She wiped it away briskly, laughing lightly.

"You certainly know how to catch someone by surprise," she said, catching her breath.

"Beverly?"

"When Ronin injured you on Caldos IV, I was so frightened I was going to loose you," Dr Crusher admitted. "We should have talked a long time ago." She sighed, looking down at her hands in her lap. Picard remained silent, not knowing what to say or exactly what her response meant. "I'm not afraid anymore." She looked up into his eyes. He knew what that meant. A hopeful glint filled his eyes as he watched her. Smiling, she put a hand on his, wrapping her fingers around his and squeezing them gently. "I love you, Jean-Luc." He raised his hand, gently holding her neck as they moved to embrace each other.

"Thank you, thank you," Picard whispered as they sat there, holding each other, savouring the moment.


End file.
